Text Messages | Pinoy Texts

1. In the middle of the sea there is cat,
   When the sea is out.
   What happen to the cat?
2. What happen to the truck,
   When I come in,
   And you come out?
3. Ch side by side
   you are inside….
4. You can’t see me in a day,
   But you can see me in the middle of the night…
   Who am I?
5. You can see me once in a year,
   Twice in a decade,
   Who am I?
6. What word tells that letter “S” is a far away letter?
7. My first letter is the first of first,
   My second letter is the second of you
   My third letter is the same as the second,
   And my last letter is the first of last…

1. Since the bureau of census is now fast approaching,
   I’m here now to have an interview about your family,
   Can I begin ma’am?, “asked, the boy…
   Yes, you may,”answered the old women..
   My father’s name is laughing,
   My mother’s name is smiling,
   “Are you kidding,boy?
   “No, that’s my little sister’s name,
   “Because I’m joking……
2. Three guys were introduced to a girl,
   “Hi! I’m Peter, not a saint,”
   “I’m Paul, not a pope,”
   “I’m John, not a baptist,”
   The girl replied,” Well, well,well…..
   “I’m Mary, not a virgin…..
3. A hunter, saw a house in the middle of the forest,
   He knock the door and ask permission to the old man,
   To let him stay for a night in the house,
   The old man agreed but with a condition,
   “You can sleep with my daughter, tonight…
   But promise me,not to touch her”…
   The hunter agreed the condition…
   So, the hunter enter the room,
   As he lay in the bed, he heard a cooled voice saying….
   “Please hug me, please….. please….
   When the hunter saw the owner of the voice, he hug her, without a doubt..
   In the morning the hunter told the old man that her daughter was so cooled…
   “Yes, it’s because she is dead, a week ago….
4. Doctor: Oh! man you have a brain tumor..
   Patient: That’s great doc, because my friends told me, I have no brain,
   But now I have a brain two more……
5. When you feel that the world so dark,
   And you can see nothing,
   I think you must do s0mething,
   Pay your electric bill, in order to see spark…
6. TEACHER: Pedro use among and does in a sentence…
   PEDRO: Among the birds, only parrot does talking….
   TEACHER: Very good! How about you Juan?
   JUAN: When the carabao does mag the tree, na among ang nati..
7. PATIENT: Doc, what should I do in order that I can walk again…
   DOCTOR: Always have an everyday checkup, that’s the nice thing to do.
   After a week of having an everyday checkup….
   DOCTOR: How are you now?
   PATIENT: Well, as of now I have to walk from my house to your clinic.
   Because, I’ve already sold my car, in order to pay my bill…..

1. Kinuha ako komersyal ng MILO,
   Pero bagsak ako sa interbyo,
   Tanungin ba naman ako,
   Ano meaning ng MILO?
   Eh, di sabi ko ,
   M-asarap
   I-numin
   L-asang
   O-valtine…
2. Istorbo ba kita?
   Dahil ako na naman nagtext?
   Inis ka ba?
   Dahil name ko naman nakita mo?
   Badtrip ka ba ?
   Dahil message ko naman binabasa mo?
   Sori ha, wala kasi magawa ang aming aso…hehe
3. Bakit may mga taong ,
   Magtetext lang pag itinext mo,
   Oh, kaya pag nagparamdam ka lang..
   Oh! huwag mo nang tangkaing magtext,
   Naiintindihan kita ganyan talaga pag wala kang “LOAD”
4. Tinanong ko si Lord,
   Bakit cute ako?
   Lord answer; co’z your so special..
   Then I asked again,
   Ang nagbasa Lord, cute din ba?
   Lord said, “depende kung magreply..
5. Tingnan mo ang langit…
   Ang sabi ko tingnan mo ang langit,
   H’wag kang pindot ng pindot diyan!
   Bakit andiyan ba langit?
   Pasaway ka talaga..
6. Musta kayo diyan?Dito bad news,
   Kasi may nakitang putol na kamay,
   Lapit lang sa bahay namin..
   Dami pulis pero hindi makalapit,
   Kasi nananampal…..
7. Pedro: Tay, hanggang ngayon,
   hindi parin ako makaiskor sa aking asawa…
   Tatay: Bakit naman anak?
   Pedro: Kasi iyong panty niya may nakasulat…..
   “PRIVATE PROPERTY… NO TRESSPASSING”
   Tatay: Madali lang yan anak, lagyan mo lang brief mo ng….
   ” DEMOLITION TEAM, DO NOT DELAY”….
8. Nakita mo na ba ang punong iyon?
   Ang laki at ang taas no?
   Alam mo ba diyan kita ibibitay….
   Oras na kinalimutan mo ako….
9. Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan
   Mahuhulog ng di mamalayan..
10. Matalino man ang matsing….
    Matsing pa rin….
11. GIRL: Judge ni rape po ako don sa library.
    JUDGE:Aba! daming tao sa library, di ka man lang sumigaw..
    GIRL: Haller! May nakasulat po kaya, “SILENCE PLEASE”….
12. ANAK: Tay, alam mo nag-exam kami kanina…
    Muntik, na akong maperfect….
    TATAY:Ganun ba anak…. Sayang naman….
    Bakit naman muntik lang?
    ANAK: Kasi  yong tinawag ng aming guro,
    na perfect iskor, ay iyong katabi ko…
    Kaya ko po nasabi na muntik na ako…..

The following text messages are personal composition of SELaplana the blogger behind the Motoristang Pinoy blog and is the first problogger in Southern Leyte, Philippines.

1. Love conquers all
   So, you better be ready,
   Wear your armor and hold tightly your weapon
   Bring with you your best shield
   For Love can let you fall.
2. Love is like a tree
   It started from a seed
   It grows into seedling
   It grows more if taken cared
   But it dies when ignored.
3. Love is like a book
   It contains everything
   But it wouldn’t tell you
   Until you open its pages.
4. Love is like a bubble gum
   Mopilit ug makabuang.

All text messages that are included on this post are sent to me by Wing. If you want to contribute, please text your own composed text messages to 0906-812-5959 with your nickname or full name.

1. If text comes in the wrong time
   Sorry for the disturbance
   When your cellphone beeps
   only to find our it’s me
   Hope you’re not disappointed
2. Take care it means you live
   in that person’s heart till the last beat….
   Take care…
3. Be Practical!
   So, if your suitor will ask you
   what you want…
   Chocolate? flower? Stuff toy?
   Necklace? Oh, c’mon!
   Be practical BIGAS girl BIGAS…
4. I was sad til I saw
   a man without two arms,
   Shaking his shoulder and jumping with joy…
   When I ask you he is happy,
   He replied, I’m not happy,
   Katol ako ilok….
   Kalota ra gud…
5. Here are my special wishes
   for you tonight…
   A night full of love,
   a peaceful sleep,
   beautiful dreams of your
   prayer to be heard and granted by God… Good night…
6. Accepting new challenges
   can help us leap to higher levels
   of performance…
   Don’t be tired of doing good works
   for in due time, God will pay you
   for all your goodness… Good morning…

All the text messages listed here are all coming from Wing, a friend from Hinunangan, Southern Leyte.

1. A simple text means “I’m Here Again”
   Enough to flex my thumb
   Search your name
   Wait for “message sent”
   then think of you and smile as I say:
   “Good Morning!”
2. I haven’t seen you in  a while,
   yet I often imagine all your expressions
   I haven’t spoken to you recently,
   But many times I hear your thought
   Good friends must not always be together
   It is the feeling of oneness when
   distant proves a “lasting friendship.”
3. I may not be not be the one you’d always run too
   Not exactly your best friend
   But if ever you get hurt and you need
   someone to talk to, just call me
   you know, I’d love to hear you say…
   “…nith…” I need you.
4. Blue roses for lovers
   White chocolates for crushes
   Pink balloons for friendships…
   Most of all, for loveless, red…
   “…Red Horse…”
5. Everyone has different impression on me
   Some really hates me while others love me
   But there’s one thing I want to say…
   “Thank you” for what ever appreciation you have for me
6. F - find ways to comfort you
   R - reminds you of God’s love
   I - inspire you
   E - encourage you
   N - never let you go
   D - di ba ikaw yon?
   S - Saka ako?
7. Remember God first before you begin
   the daily games of your life…
   Put him as your weapon in happiness
   in guts and trials in strength and in
   “S-U-C-C-E-S-S,” Good afternoon
8. Good morning!
   Sweet thoughts and prayers
   are sent your way
   to warm your heart
   and bless your day.
9. Angels fly not because of their wings
   But because they have no burdens in their heart
   Lift everything to God and You’ll walk
   through like an ANGEL. Good Afternoon

1. Kumain ka ng gulay
   Pera’y wag sa baboy ilustay
   Hahaba iyong buhay
   Utak mo’y punuin ng Malungay
2. Kumain ka lagi ng itlog
   mukha mo’y bibilog
   Titingnan kay malusog
   Puso mo’y sasabog.
3. Eat banana
   And you’ll become monkey.
   Eat carrots
   And your teeth will look like of that of Rabbits.
4. Anak: Daddy! Ba’t ka nakasubsub sa pagitan ng hita ni mommy?
   Daddy: Kumakain lang ako ng kamatis anak.
   Anak: Bakit po kayo kumain ng kamatis?
   Daddy: Pampapula kasi yun ng kutis anak?
   Anak: Ah! Kaya po pala namumula mukha mo tay!